God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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