i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
You took a bar mat shot.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
