What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
