3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
