OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Randomize
