Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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