i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
