I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
