Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
