two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
