idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
