in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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