Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
