Its about making memories worth repressing
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
