i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
