she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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