ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
