This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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