why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize