Whod you bang
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
