No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
