walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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