we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
