i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
