Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
