i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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