C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
