do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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