Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
