Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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