So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Randomize
