great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
