remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
