Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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