wat bout pragnant strippers??
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
