I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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