I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
