the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
