Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
