"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
