R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
