If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
