Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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