K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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