Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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