so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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