I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
