Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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