Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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