I got chris browned last night
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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